February 15, 2011, several years after an abusive relationship, I wrote this poem. I revised it again today because I have survived!
You win.
I’m dead.
Chopped up into the little bloody pieces you claimed…
would never be found.
“I’ll freeze them,” you said, “and carry them out in small trash bags each day.”
Ah… You would dispose of me one trash bag at a time.
And I believed you;
That I was trash.
You win.
I’m dead.
Looked into a mirror after a wearisome day, and saw…
Tiny little living pieces.
“I’ll freeze them,” you said, “and no one will ever find them.”
Ah… You were wrong about that!
Little bits of me spatter on the canvas of the living now and then.
Telling your dirty little secret.
You win.
I’m dead.
Sensed a chance to laugh at the smallest humor, but…
Trace evidence appeared on the Monet of today.
“I’ll freeze them,” you said, “No one will ever want you.”
Ah… You infected every precious part of my pitiful reality
Until I discovered the hidden masterpiece under
Your filthy dark art.
You lose.
I’m ALIVE!
Living and breathing the beauty of love
Whilst you sleep the slumber of death…
From the bullet you put in your head.
Eclectra 
The imagery in this is incredible, the violence of it. It’s really elegantly written, especially considering the horrendous emotional experience of such a situation. I love that it ended with survival ❤
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Sadly, I totally understand what you wrote here. My brother took his life last year. I see those words, in your writing, “You win, I’m dead”, and I cringe at the thought of , in our world, that some let the bullies win..by checking out when they shouldn’t check out . Personally, I believe in life and in living joyfully. And also, besides that, I believe in not letting the narcissist bullies ever win! There are many survivors out there, victorious survivors, and what I find amazing is that most of them are so very creative! God finds ways to give us ways to cope while we heal, to cope while (what we think) is the worst that is going on. And so, the creative types, write, and write, and do art, and create ways to express ourself ..in a world where some tried to make us silent.
Good writing! .. You win! You survived and you have all the best to look forward to..little by little, step by step..moment by moment. You win! Peace.
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I am in awe that my poem touched you in this way. Thank you for your comments and taking the time to read. I appreciate your thoughts. I hope you are doing okay after the death of your brother. It took my family many years to heal, but we made it!
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It’s amazing to get hope back.
it’s a amazing knowing we are capable of love – sad for them that they are not.
Now we just have to accept what is love really.
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I recognize this, as every struggle is written becomes undone.
We suffer and then push on, our wings takes us to beyond.
You and I like so many others, painfully grow those beautiul feathers.
Our light once dimmed now beams unfettered.
Nothing can suffocate our gleam, we were always more powerful than we seemed.
We have more in common than you know.
Nobody can touch that part of us now.
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I recognize this, as every struggle is written becomes undone.
We suffer and then push on, our wings take us to beyond.
You and I like so many others, painfully grow those beautiul feathers.
Our light once dimmed now beams unfettered.
Nothing can suffocate our gleam, we were always more powerful than we seemed.
We have more in common than you know.
Nobody can touch that part of us now.
LikeLiked by 1 person